Don't Quit Your Day Job

I have been reading and hearing a lot of speculation regarding chasing dreams and dropping everything at a drop of hat in order to do so or it will never happened. I wanted to touch on that because I feel so strongly about. A couple days ago on @iamnancyruffin instagram account, she posted a video on, rapper/podcast host, Joe Budden, where he said that in order for you to be successful in obtaining your dreams, you have to quit your 9-5. He feels that you cannot get to 2nd base while keeping your foot on 1st.

Although some of his ideologies and thoughts on this topic may seem plausible. I, too, thought that I needed to quit my job and go “all in” in my blogging to achieve success. I noticed that most successful bloggers do it full-time, without a 9-5 so I thought I would have to do the same.

I used to beat myself up for not having figured out my “dreams” earlier in life. I studied Criminal Justice in college and although I was always interested in the field, a part of me always knew that, it did not feel right. I always enjoyed writing and talking to people. I always had a dream of writing a book. I dreamed of working for a fun magazine as a writer or maybe a reporter. However, I always thought that those career paths were a little unrealistic for me. I felt the Criminal Justice field felt more attainable, so I pursued that. Boy, do I regret that decision and immature mindset. I wish I would have followed my gut and pursued the career I liked regardless of how it seemed.

Today, I work in government, hence my degree did not totally go to waste; however, I dissatisfied and lack fulfillment at work. I use to beat myself up for not having pursued the field that I initially felt right for me. I kept hearing many bloggers and entrepreneurs say they quit their jobs to pursue their dreams and have never looked back since. I heard it so frequently that it made me feel like that was the answer to my problem. In order to find fulfillment, in order to do what I love, I would have to quit my day job and dedicate all my time and energy in building my brand and creating opportunities for myself that the work force may not necessarily give me because my resume lacks the experience and knowledge in the field.

And then, I got pregnant with Aylah and I was stuck. There was no way I can quit my job now with baby #2 on the way, a bigger childcare bill and a mortgage. I could not put all that pressure on my husband. I knew that this was just not an option for me. I surfed the internet to try to find entrepreneurs or bloggers that had been in my shoes or similar situations and yet made it to their dreams successfully. I could not find any. I could not find one successful blogger with over 50k followers on Instagram that works fulltime, is married, and has children – not one. Most bloggers that did have families, blogged on the side and were perfectly fine with that. They were not looking to achieve a six-figure salary from it. Most women in the entertainment business also did not have children. I spoke to a PR professional that had been featured on HuffPost, Telemundo, InStyle Magazine and asked her about her lifestyle has a working women that is also juggling a side hustle as she too was building her brand. She told me that life as a PR means long hours and not much time off. She loves her job but every day she saw the mothers at her office struggling to make it all work. She told me it could be troublesome for parents with small children. She did not have a family herself. I was crushed. I felt stagnant. I felt like my day job was going to be all for me.

Shortly after giving birth to my second child, my oldest daughter was diagnosed with JRA, which required her to see specialists and have special treatments. The family was under my health insurance so now it was confirmed that I could not leave my job. We needed to health benefits. Once my daughters health was at stake, I let it go. I let go of wanting to quit my job and become a full time blogger. I let go of feeling stagnant and the thoughts of me not progressing in life because I have children. Once I decided to let go and stop allowing society to make the decision of how my life should play out for me, I was finally able to see things a lot clearer.

I found that my dream is not to really to blog full time or to quit my day job or even to have my own business. I do not dream of leaving corporate America. I actually think I want to stay in corporate America. My blog and the brand I am currently building is helping me in creating opportunities for myself in order to fill in the gap on my resume when going for that job in the communications or public relations field. I host events, not because I want to, but because I want to be able to show that I can do this and that although I do not have the education background, I am experienced. I pitch to brands and work on collaboration campaigns to help with marketing so I can gain the experience and exposure necessary to one day work in this field. My fulfillment is in that, in communications, in writing, in building brands. It brings me joy to motivate others, to be a part of something that touches and/or changes lives. Entreprenuerialship is not something I dream of; however if that is the only way I achieve fulfillment and find purpose, then so be it.

Quitting my job is not an option for this mommy and I am in complete acceptance of that. I know that God has a plan for me and however it is, he will find a way to grant me that purpose. He has never forsaken me, and I am sure he will not do so now. Just because everyone else’s reality leaves room to take such a risk, remember that there are also people in a similar situation as you. Do not get discourage but instead from another way. Map out exactly what it is that you want, what exactly is that dream, and set small goals towards it. Seek help, pray and have faith that God will make a way for you.