We Had an Ectopic Pregnancy

That’s right babes. I suffered an ectopic pregnancy last month.

I found out I was pregnant early May, when I realized my period had not come during the month of April. With all the changes going on around COVID-19, I had lost track of everything and was still trying to normalize my new routine. I felt my breast get bigger, discomfort in my abdominal area, and I just knew something wasn’t right. I ran to the pharmacy to buy a pregnancy, got home, pee’d on the stick, and bam, there it was - the +- signs. I was pregnant.

Being that I already have two children, ages 7 and 4, I merely freaked out with the thought of starting over again; giving birth, breastfeeding, sleepless nights, extra weight, etc. My kids are pretty independent. The oldest watches over the little one while I nap and/or do my own thing. I get to sleep in on the weekends and for the most part, they each sleep in their own rooms. I had it made. Motherhood was official easier.

My mind instantly went through all worst case scenario’s and financial aspects of having a new baby. I thought about my blog, my career and my future goals and how stagnant having a new baby would make things for me right now. I was a nervous wreck. My husband took the news well. He was hoping this would be his baby boy. He did not think of the financial expenses, childcare arrangements, nothing - all he knew was that this was his opportunity for the son he has always wanted.

As the days passed, I began to accept that we would shortly become a family of 5. I pictured what this baby would look like and started to get excited for what was to come. I also thought this would be the son to Ariel that he has always wished for. I was ready to move forward with the pregnancy. Shortly after, I called my doctor and scheduled my first visit and ultrasound appointment.

At the visit, as they examined my uterus during the ultrasound, I did not see anything move or indication of a fetus. I would look over at the technician as she quietly moved the camera around my abdominal area. I knew something was wrong. She asked me if I had gotten my period since taking the test, I quickly answered her “no”. She said nothing more. She then requested I remove my pants completely so she can do an internal ultrasound. I anxiously waited for the ultrasound to be over so I can speak to the doctor about what was going on.

As the doctor walked into my examination room, she explained that I would need to get some blood work done because they were not able to detect a fetus inside my uterus but did discover something in my abdominal area. They wanted to confirm what they assumed to be an “ectopic pregnancy”.

As I walked out of the visit, I found myself begin to get a little emotional feeling liable for not being excited about this pregnancy the moment I found out and to now find out that I may not be able to carry this pregnancy brought me such a sense of guilt. Almost like I did this to myself or caused this to happen for worrying so much and thinking the worst from the beginning. My husband was saddened by the news. We went over to the laboratory for bloodwork as directed by my doctor and patiently waited for the callback.

The next day, the nurse called and confirmed the ectopic pregnancy. She faxed me over resources and articles to read so I can further educate myself on what was happening, the dangers of this type of pregnancy and my treatment options. It was important to treat quickly as it can cause internal bleeding for me which can ultimately become deadly. She instructed me to head over to the ER for treatment that will help to stop the tissue from developing.

I arrived at the hospital, checked in, was called into a room and waited patiently for hours. Finally, I was taken to imaging for another ultrasound and lastly was given 2 shots in my butt that would treat the ectopic pregnancy. I was discharged shortly after that.

The next couple days were difficult for me. My body felt extremely tired. I slept for pretty much two days. I had horrible cramps that interrupted my sleep. For almost 6 weeks, I had to go back to the laboratory for bloodwork until my hormone levels were down. I finally graduated yesterday from this experience and got the ok from my doctor that my hormone levels are back to normal and the injections given to me at the ER worked as expected. I was relieved!

Do I want to try again for another baby? Yes and no. I think about how stressed out I was when I first found out about the pregnancy but again think about Ariel’s reaction to potentially finally having a son. So I decided to give myself a deadline. If by the end of 2020 I am not pregnant, then I will proceed to tie my tubes and carry on with my life.

This experience was definitely an eye opener for me. I realized how blessed I am to have been able to have my two children without any complications to conceive or to give birth. My children are healthy and I was able to carry them through both pregnancies with minimal risks. I was grateful for my little gems and can empathize with women that struggle to conceive. Its a heartbreaking and draining experience. Apart of me does not want to try again in fear that this will happen again. I only knew one other person that had suffered this kind of pregnancy so I felt alone in this. Google makes everything seem and feel so much worst always giving you the worst case scenario’s.

Nonetheless, I share my experience to let other women know that if you have suffered an ectopic pregnancy, you are not alone. If you are struggling to conceive, you are also not alone. I am here with you.